Long time no post!

So it has been a REALLY long time since I blogged. I even debated doing this but I have had a crazy day filled with things in my crazy mind that I want to document but am not sure where to even put it. So blog, you are the lucky spot for my mindless nothing thoughts. :) First off, my baby girl started preschool today. I know, I know, it's just preschool, but for me it wasn't just preschool. I never leave my baby with anyone but family. I know it may be overprotective but this was my first day dropping her somewhere with someone for a few hours and watching a door close and me walking away. I realized how big my baby girl was getting and soon quickly came home and held my baby boy for a while saddened by the way that they grow up all to fast. I LOVE my babies and honestly am so grateful that my Savior trusted me enough to send them to my house for me to be their mom. I am one blessed girl! The second item of business that has been weighing heavy on my mind today is an amazing woman named Georgia Stewart recently left this world to go home to our Heavenly Father to help with the work on the other side. I can't go to a funeral without missing my dad and reliving that day in my mind. I honestly know that I have not dealt completely with the passing of my dad and understand that at some point I need to truly come to my my Heavenly Father with an open heart and mind and ask for peace but at this point in my life I just have so many things going on I don't know if I'm ready for that. I do know that as I prepared for the services this morning I knew that both my dad and Georgia lived amazing lives and touched so many that their services would be filled with people who adored, admired, and were touched by these two people that the Lord called home. It got me thinking, am I living my life in the same way? My dad was my hero. He literally walked in true confidence in who he was. I honestly don't know if many of us, well at least myself, can say the same thing. I want so badly to be a tool for the Lords work. Sometimes though I open up my mouth and I know that I sound like hard hearted person that doesn't have a spiritual bone in my body. I seriously realized today after hearing the great messages of Georgia's life and reflecting on my dad that I can do more. That I know my Heavenly Father has given me a spirit in myself that I have not yet searched for. That I am capable of being more then who I am and touching people and having compassion beyond what I am allowing myself. I am grateful for these hard moments like today so that I can reflect on who I am capable of being and for these amazing people I have been blessed to have in my life. I am so grateful that I have always been showered with people around me helping build a foundation so that I can be something more then mediocre and so that through their example I can strive to be more like my Savior. All of this being said, I am thankful for the gospel. I am thankful for my little family and I love when my little Keeley will make reference in her sweet little spirit to her knowledge already of how important and special her family is to her. It's in those moments that I know I am doing my part in letting her know what is important. I am grateful for my parents that taught me the importance of family. I am grateful for amazing friends who lead and set examples all around me of how to be charitable and loving, giving, selfless, and non-judgmental. I am sure one day I will be grateful for these trials and for who they are making me to be. I am last, but for sure not least, grateful for my Savior. For his sacrifice and the Atonement. I am so grateful that I am able to utilize the atonement for myself.