Gonna be better.

So while doing the dishes tonight I thought to myself I need to be better. What brought this to mind was on Tuesday of last week Dean came up missing. He was gone for 3 hours longer then what he said he was going to be. He was playing church ball and had forgotten his phone. Well, while playing ball he got into a head on collision and had to go to the ER for 12 stitches. He couldn't remember my phone number so I sat here in pure panic. When a friend of ours offered to go look for him she found his car still at the church. She waited for about 30 min and at that point someone dropped him off. I had cried off and on the whole time waiting to find out what had happened to him but the moment I heard his voice on the other end of the line I just started sobbing. This is the part that breaks my heart though. Eventhough the sobbing was a sobbing of complete relief and love for my husband and a sob of being completely grateful for his safety and him being ok, my first words out of my mouth to him were, "you A hole" over and over. He then said, "honey, honey, I wasn't playing ball or anything, I'm so sorry, I was in the ER. I have 12 stitches in my head." I of course stopped calling him names at this point and just told him how worried I had been, and how scared.
I should have never uttered those horrible words though. I should have just told him immediately that I loved him and was so glad that he was safe. I am now, after feeling guilty for this horrible thing, going to try and be better. If I try to focus on my relationship with my Savior a little more I think everything else will just fall into place. I will be able to think of the love rather then jump to the words that are so hurtful. So.....These are my deep thoughts by Meghan McLeod. Doing dishes I guess gives me too much time to reflect:)