Happy Birthday!

Tomorrow is my dads birthday. All he ever said about birthdays was that is was just another day. I try to remind myself of that. The only thing he ever wanted to be doing on his birthday was be out hunting in the hills. For many of the birthdays in his lifetime he was doing just that. He loved every minute of it too!! I bet you he is just salivating in heaven with all the beautiful buck around to look at and knowing that Heavenly Father won't let you shoot them up there. So as a small tribute to my dad tonight I say, you're one of the greatest men I know. You were the best round snuggle bear that I have ever seen. My childhood would have not been the same without Sunday morning cartoons with you on your bed. I have found myself doing the Tarzan yell to Keeley before. Look what you have started!! Too bad she never got to hear yours. She would think mine was totally lame. I'm trying to live up to your expectations though. You were so kind to everyone. Giving beyond what any of us knew you had. There is not one person since you've been gone that hasn't said what an amazing person you were. Way to make peoples expectations of your spawn go above what I think I'm capable of. Now I'm not only going to have to tell people that my mom is to amazing and not for them to expect that from me. I'm also going to have to tell them to not get their hopes up to high for me being as amazing as my dad. I hope you are up there getting to spend some time and teaching my little ones before they come down here to be members of our crazy family and teaching them how to deal best with their stubborn mama. I love you daddy! Happy Birthday and may you see the biggest, most beautiful buck you've ever seen!!

Home but not Whole

So I am home in Las Vegas. It's been 2 weeks and 4 days. For those 2 weeks and 4 days I have replayed saying such as, "Yes, my father passed away on July 27, 2010" and "He passed away in a 4 wheeling accident". Sometimes I say those 2 saying over and over in my head wondering how many times in my lifetime I will have to repeat those 2 phrases. Phrases that you don't think you will ever really have to say but I do.
It's amazing how the Lord blesses you with the ability to just push through for your loved ones. Today as I was driving home the reality of everything finally hit me. I have had moments here and there but truly been able to just help my mom with communication and finances. I feel that the Lord blessed me with all of my years of work experience to be able to sort through some of this stuff after my dads passing. Now though, it is here. The grief is here. I hear his voice in my head for some reason repeating the same simple voice message he would leave when he called. "Hi Meg, This is your dad." Its almost like he is some how trying to tell me, "Hey Meg, this is your dad and I'm still here." I also as strange as this sounds remember the silly stuff like feeding treats to my baby or texting me from his real estate brokers class. Makes you realize that everything you do in this life leaves an impression on people whether the act is great or small. The biggest compliment in my lifetime has been that I am just like my dad. I hope to continue to live in his amazing legacy and be just like my dad because if I can touch lives and leave this world like he did I truly have lived a life of purpose. My worries now lie in, who is going to be with my mom, who is going to be there to watch and witness my babies being baptized, who is going to some day take those little ones of mine on the front lawn and watch them as they play? All of these questions will I'm sure be answered and not be so hard to face at some point in time but for now they are. I love you daddy. You were my best friend and understood me like noone else could. I miss you more then you understand!

Prayer

So, I have to admit I am not the best at always saying my prayers. I try and I'm not horrible but lately I find myself thinking of so many things that I lay awake at night for a while and I am waking up a ton because of the millions of things on my mind. With that being said, I think that some of this could be settled, or I guess comforted could be a better word, if I had more faith and was more sincere in my prayers. They tell us constantly to rely on the Lord to give our hearts and our worries to him and let him be our comforter but honestly, how do you do that? I think that my biggest problem is control. I like to have control. It is probably my biggest downfall. I really need to work on this one. Any advice?

Love-Hate relationship

I have a serious love hate relationship with running into old friends. I LOVE LOVE LOVE seeing them. It is so good to see how they're doing, how they are looking, and just in general what they are doing with their life. Now the hate part of this thing. I wish so badly that when I ran into someone from my past that I felt confident with how I looked. It would just be so nice to walk away from an encounter like that and think, wow it was so amazing to see them, instead of walking away thinking oh my gosh I wish that I would have actually done my hair or looked thinner, or.... Well, you know how it goes. Some day I'll get there. I am sure of it. After my skin is all done stretching from having babies, my life is less crazy so I don't want that piece of chocolate, or I have more time to go on that leisurely run. With all that being said, Jolene, if you are stalking this blog post I adored running into you. You look fabulous and I would love to catch up more on how things are going with you and even some night leave the baby with my husband and go grab dinner or something:)

Just for fun I am adding a couple new pictures of the baby. She is the best. Never stops, but the best none the less:)

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

Today my baby girl turns one year old! I can't believe how time flies. Little Bug, you make my world go round. Your smile brightens my day. You are so funny. You lay on the stairs, throw all your toys down the stairs, love to play outside, hold your binky outside of the bottom of your lip. You have the longest tongue. Your dad calls it your cow tongue. It's just like your Grandpa Adams'. You do everything in your own time. You have a firey personality! I love that and I love you! Doesn't get much better then you little bug. You make everyone around you happy with that great big smile and those beautiful eyes. Happy Birthday!

Gonna be better.

So while doing the dishes tonight I thought to myself I need to be better. What brought this to mind was on Tuesday of last week Dean came up missing. He was gone for 3 hours longer then what he said he was going to be. He was playing church ball and had forgotten his phone. Well, while playing ball he got into a head on collision and had to go to the ER for 12 stitches. He couldn't remember my phone number so I sat here in pure panic. When a friend of ours offered to go look for him she found his car still at the church. She waited for about 30 min and at that point someone dropped him off. I had cried off and on the whole time waiting to find out what had happened to him but the moment I heard his voice on the other end of the line I just started sobbing. This is the part that breaks my heart though. Eventhough the sobbing was a sobbing of complete relief and love for my husband and a sob of being completely grateful for his safety and him being ok, my first words out of my mouth to him were, "you A hole" over and over. He then said, "honey, honey, I wasn't playing ball or anything, I'm so sorry, I was in the ER. I have 12 stitches in my head." I of course stopped calling him names at this point and just told him how worried I had been, and how scared.
I should have never uttered those horrible words though. I should have just told him immediately that I loved him and was so glad that he was safe. I am now, after feeling guilty for this horrible thing, going to try and be better. If I try to focus on my relationship with my Savior a little more I think everything else will just fall into place. I will be able to think of the love rather then jump to the words that are so hurtful. So.....These are my deep thoughts by Meghan McLeod. Doing dishes I guess gives me too much time to reflect:)

Grandma Adams' Birthday and Easter

So the Saturday before Easter Keeley and I made a day trip up to my moms to celebrate her birthday. It was quick but perfect because my whole family was together. Keeley loves to play with her cousins. We came back Saturday night and Sunday were off to Grandma and Grandpa McLeod's for Easter sunday even though they weren't home yet. We had a great egg hunt with the kids and loved playing with those cousins as well. Nothing like a weekend filled with family and fun.